1 00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:17,810 SEAGULLS CRY 2 00:00:17,860 --> 00:00:19,780 CANNON FIRES 3 00:00:35,940 --> 00:00:38,860 INDISTINCT CHATTER 4 00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:04,730 How much further, Cadman? 5 00:01:04,780 --> 00:01:06,620 About half an hour, ma'am. 6 00:01:07,940 --> 00:01:11,570 A shame Mr Pillson's missing all this glorious scenery. 7 00:01:11,620 --> 00:01:13,770 TYRES SCREECH 8 00:01:13,820 --> 00:01:15,580 HE GASPS 9 00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:18,250 Oh, how tiresome. 10 00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:22,050 I made it myself. Saw the pattern in the Ladies' Companion. 11 00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:24,530 Diva, dear, what a very brave colour! 12 00:01:24,580 --> 00:01:27,300 I almost mistook you for the pillar-box. 13 00:01:30,580 --> 00:01:34,010 Good morning, Irene. What a beautiful picture, 14 00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:35,970 all the skinned piggies in a row. 15 00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:38,170 Or are they sheep? 16 00:01:38,220 --> 00:01:41,370 Don't know. They all look the same with their clothes off. 17 00:01:41,420 --> 00:01:43,050 Ha! 18 00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,700 Ha(!) 19 00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:48,810 Oh, Georgie, come estay! 20 00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:51,050 You not cross with ickle Lucia? 21 00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:53,570 I just wish you'd tell me where we're going. 22 00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:57,010 You know I don't like surprises. Impossible to pack for. 23 00:01:57,060 --> 00:01:59,890 Do you remember a woman who stayed at the Ambermere Arms one summer, 24 00:01:59,940 --> 00:02:01,410 a Miss Mapp? 25 00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:02,970 Vaguely... 26 00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:05,570 'A busy little woman with lots of teeth. 27 00:02:05,620 --> 00:02:07,970 'She talked about a place called Tilling, 28 00:02:08,020 --> 00:02:09,930 'where she had a Queen Anne house.' 29 00:02:09,980 --> 00:02:12,060 Why, what about her? 30 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:18,260 I need to escape Riseholme, Georgie, and her house will be my retreat. 31 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:22,050 Elizabeth! 32 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,130 Sweet Evie, how-de-do? 33 00:02:24,180 --> 00:02:26,770 We're playing bridge at the rectory this afternoon. 34 00:02:26,820 --> 00:02:28,290 I do hope you can pop in. 35 00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:31,170 I'm preparing rather a daring surprise for us all. 36 00:02:31,220 --> 00:02:33,170 ~ Oh, you mean the redcurrant fool? ~ Ooh! 37 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,610 I happened to notice you go directly from procuring 38 00:02:35,660 --> 00:02:37,690 over-ripe redcurrants at Twistevant's 39 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:38,970 into Mr Hopkins', 40 00:02:39,020 --> 00:02:42,130 and as I knew you couldn't possibly be putting fish on top of fruit, 41 00:02:42,180 --> 00:02:45,850 you were most probably buying ice, ergo iced redcurrant fool. 42 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:48,170 Such a clever way of using up damaged fruit. 43 00:02:48,220 --> 00:02:50,410 ~ You are quite ingenious. ~ Thank you. 44 00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:51,970 Sadly, I can't attend, 45 00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:54,650 as I'm expecting some rather important guests of my own 46 00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:58,140 this afternoon but do have fun. Au reservoir! 47 00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:04,620 Don't sulk, dear. I'll only be here for two months. 48 00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:11,500 Dear Mrs Lucas! 49 00:03:12,740 --> 00:03:17,010 No need for introductions, which makes everything so happy. 50 00:03:17,060 --> 00:03:19,050 And Mr Pillson, too! 51 00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:20,690 Miss Mapp. 52 00:03:20,740 --> 00:03:23,090 Oh, Elizabeth, please! 53 00:03:23,140 --> 00:03:26,020 Tea at once, Withers, in the garden. 54 00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,970 When I got your telegram yesterday, 55 00:03:29,020 --> 00:03:31,570 I clapped my hands with joy 56 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:36,100 at the thought of having such a tenant as Mrs Lucas of Riseholme. 57 00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:39,580 Now let me show you round. 58 00:03:41,340 --> 00:03:43,810 (Try to put on a brave face for me, Georgie.) 59 00:03:43,860 --> 00:03:46,010 Hmph. 60 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:51,420 Telephone room, which looks out onto our quaint little high street. 61 00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:54,900 Library. 62 00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,700 Simulacra. 63 00:04:08,060 --> 00:04:10,130 The dining room. 64 00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:12,140 Lots of lovely light. 65 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,380 The garden room. 66 00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:21,860 Hmm? 67 00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:24,900 My sweet rainbow of piggies. 68 00:04:26,740 --> 00:04:29,050 ~ Hello, piggies! ~ (They'll have to go.) 69 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:31,060 ~ Sorry? ~ Oh, I love them so. 70 00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:35,730 The terms would include the use of the piano, 71 00:04:35,780 --> 00:04:37,970 a Blumenfeld, as I'm sure you're aware. 72 00:04:38,020 --> 00:04:40,730 SHE PLAYS OUT-OF-TUNE NOTES 73 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,250 Antique. 74 00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:46,010 Roses. The euphorbias in the bed over there. 75 00:04:46,060 --> 00:04:48,170 Rather a nice clematis. 76 00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:49,930 It's enchanting. 77 00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:53,170 I don't know how you can flit off to Tilling for the summer, 78 00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:56,050 leave me in Riseholme with nothing but my croquet and my bibelots. 79 00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:57,730 It isn't fair. 80 00:04:57,780 --> 00:05:00,220 And if you'd like to follow me through here... 81 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,460 .. my little secret garden. 82 00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:14,490 Very modest, as you can see, but so well beloved. 83 00:05:14,540 --> 00:05:16,450 Georgie, how divine. 84 00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:19,370 Un giardino segreto. Molto bello! 85 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:25,210 Oh! How lovely to be able to speak little scraps of Italian like that. 86 00:05:25,260 --> 00:05:27,530 Giardino segreto, was it? 87 00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:29,490 I must remember that. 88 00:05:29,540 --> 00:05:31,450 My husband and I... 89 00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:34,050 Well, my late... husband and I 90 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:37,210 used to often address each other using la bella lingua. 91 00:05:37,260 --> 00:05:39,450 Isn't that right, Georgie? 92 00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:40,770 Yes. 93 00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:44,490 Which is why I wanted to get away from Riseholme for a short while. 94 00:05:44,540 --> 00:05:47,650 Such painful memories. 95 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:50,130 Oh, well, I am so sorry to hear that. 96 00:05:50,180 --> 00:05:53,010 Your husband, I mean, not the Italian. 97 00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:54,650 SHE CLEARS HER THROAT 98 00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:57,780 It must have been a very trying few days... 99 00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:03,210 Weeks? 100 00:06:03,260 --> 00:06:05,650 A year, Miss Mapp. 101 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:08,020 A year of uncompromising mourning. 102 00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:11,290 A whole year? 103 00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:13,570 Gosh! 104 00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:18,540 An old spinster like me can barely guess at the depths of such passion. 105 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,340 Maybe one day... 106 00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:28,500 Anyhow, if I could just scriggle through... 107 00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:32,100 .. we'll take a peep at the bedrooms. 108 00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:36,530 ~ Oh! I saw a head. ~ Where? 109 00:06:36,580 --> 00:06:39,610 ~ Maid's room. ~ They must be serious if they're thinking about staff. 110 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,490 I wonder if they're married... 111 00:06:41,540 --> 00:06:43,770 ~ IN SCOTTISH ACCENT: ~ Will ye hold yer wheesht, woman? 112 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,570 ~ 'Tis naebody's business but their own. ~ But I only meant... 113 00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:49,420 Whit starts a thread soon ends a rope. Think on. 114 00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:53,490 Well, I'm sorry, Padre, but I need to know. 115 00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:55,810 I can't take Irene's house for the summer 116 00:06:55,860 --> 00:06:57,250 unless Elizabeth takes mine, 117 00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:59,370 and Irene can't take the labourer's cottage, 118 00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:02,370 ~ and the labourer can't take the shanty on the beach! ~ Ripples. 119 00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:04,810 Exactly! Thank you, Irene. Ripples. 120 00:07:04,860 --> 00:07:08,380 And Mrs whoever-she-is, she's the stone. 121 00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:11,730 Little daubs of my own. 122 00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:14,890 I should sink into the ground with shame should you look at them, 123 00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:18,580 Mr Pillson, for I remember what a great artist you are yourself. 124 00:07:20,380 --> 00:07:22,210 Miss Coles. 125 00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:25,650 ~ Major. ~ Uh, Padre! Missed you at the links this morning, old man. 126 00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:29,290 ~ What news? ~ 'Tis the new summer tenants for Mallards, Major. 127 00:07:29,340 --> 00:07:31,770 A laddie and lassie from yon Riseholme, we believe. 128 00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:33,290 Ah, new blood, what? 129 00:07:33,340 --> 00:07:36,610 Just what we chaps need here in Tilling - reinforcements, eh, Padre? 130 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:39,130 THE MAJOR CHUCKLES They're coming! 131 00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:42,130 She's got one on each arm and the car following behind like a funeral. 132 00:07:42,180 --> 00:07:44,010 ~ Do you think they've taken it? ~ No idea. 133 00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:46,250 They're staying the night at the Trader's Arms. 134 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:49,570 ~ Mrs Lucas, Mr Pillson, not married. ~ Ooh! 135 00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:53,300 Hmm. Wonder if the fellow's an Army type. 136 00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:04,020 ~ IRENE: I wouldn't get your hopes up, Major. ~ Hmm. 137 00:08:06,540 --> 00:08:09,210 Is that a boy or a girl? It's so difficult to tell. 138 00:08:09,260 --> 00:08:11,410 Quaint Irene, Irene Coles, 139 00:08:11,460 --> 00:08:13,250 the disgrace of Tilling. 140 00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:16,450 She paints strange pictures of men and women with no clothes on. 141 00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:19,090 But you will find Tilling more than accepting of 142 00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:23,370 ~ a touch of unconventionality. ~ Yes, we find in Riseholme that... 143 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:26,050 Good afternoon, Diva, dear! 144 00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:29,730 Diva Plaistow, christened Godiva, would you believe. 145 00:08:29,780 --> 00:08:32,970 Such a handicap, but we're all devoted to her. 146 00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:34,610 Good afternoon. 147 00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:36,730 Always follows the latest fashions. 148 00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:39,890 One can only hope that one day she may catch up with them. 149 00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:41,970 Padre and his wife Evie - 150 00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:44,850 both very good bridge players. 151 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,610 Do you play bridge, Mrs Lucas? 152 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,890 ~ Well, I... ~ Plenty of that in Tilling. 153 00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:51,810 Oh, here's Major Benjy, back from the links. 154 00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:55,050 Do pop in later, Major, tell me about your game. 155 00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,580 Ladies. 156 00:08:58,180 --> 00:09:00,130 He served in India for many years. 157 00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:02,570 Hindustani is quite his second language - 158 00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:05,170 calls "quai-hi" when he wants his breakfast. 159 00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:08,290 Looks like you'll all have to make room for two more 160 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,730 under Queen Mapp's pudgy little thumb. 161 00:09:10,780 --> 00:09:13,210 ~ Was that a cape he was wearing? ~ DIVA: A black dress. 162 00:09:13,260 --> 00:09:15,450 ~ PADRE: A widow's weeds. ~ EVIE: How thrilling. 163 00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,530 MAJOR BENJY: Damned popinjay, if you ask me. 164 00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:19,810 I wonder if they're moving in together. 165 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:22,330 ~ Ooh! ~ We shall have to wait and see, Mistress Plaistow. 166 00:09:22,380 --> 00:09:25,140 They're the property of Elizabeth Mapp the noo. 167 00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:33,290 Good afternoon, sir. How can I help you? 168 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,050 Yes, I believe you have rooms reserved for Mr Pillson 169 00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:37,700 and Mrs Lucas. 170 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:41,170 That's right. 171 00:09:41,220 --> 00:09:44,370 One double room for tonight, is that correct, sir? 172 00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:45,810 Double room? 173 00:09:45,860 --> 00:09:48,660 Yes, sir. A nice big queen-size bed. 174 00:09:50,460 --> 00:09:52,500 Anything wrong, sir? 175 00:09:53,140 --> 00:09:56,380 I think there's been a misunderstanding. 176 00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:02,290 Una bella vista. 177 00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:05,580 Indeed. And what a view. 178 00:10:06,580 --> 00:10:09,250 One almost wishes one could charge extra for it. 179 00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:11,050 Well, it would be worth every penny. 180 00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:13,490 Which brings us on to the rather delicate subject... 181 00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:15,690 15 guineas a week. 182 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:19,610 15? I thought the Times had it as 12. 183 00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:20,770 A misprint. 184 00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:24,250 Such carelessness. I've been assured heads will roll. 185 00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:29,250 Of course that would not include the wages of my gardener Coplen - 186 00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:32,690 such a hard worker - or any garden produce. 187 00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:37,490 Flowers for the house, by all means, but no fruit or vegetables. 188 00:10:37,540 --> 00:10:38,810 How kind. 189 00:10:38,860 --> 00:10:42,970 Well, if those are the terms, then I am satisfied. 190 00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:45,530 ~ Excellent. ~ And where, may I ask, 191 00:10:45,580 --> 00:10:48,010 will you be spending the summer yourself, Miss Mapp? 192 00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:50,410 Italy, perhaps, or France? 193 00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:52,660 Oh, goodness me, no! 194 00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:56,140 No, I shall be staying here, in Tilling. 195 00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,210 I see. 196 00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:02,810 I have agreed to take Diva's house - Wasters - for the summer. 197 00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:05,650 A charming little cottage, though rather gloomy, 198 00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:07,330 then Diva will take Irene's, 199 00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:10,650 and Irene makes her own arrangements. 200 00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:15,250 No true Tillingite is ever really happy away from her own town, 201 00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:19,050 Mrs Lucas, and this way we all get the benefit of a change of scene 202 00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:22,610 without going to a lot of unnecessary expense. 203 00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:25,330 And you all make a little bit of profit on the side. 204 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:26,890 How quaint. 205 00:11:26,940 --> 00:11:28,130 Ah! 206 00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:30,370 Ah, Georgie! Everything settled? 207 00:11:30,420 --> 00:11:33,490 Yes, yes. Two rooms - one for each of us. 208 00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:38,050 Well, I will, as they say, love you and leave you. 209 00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:40,100 Good afternoon, Mrs Lucas. 210 00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:44,850 ~ Mr Pillson... ~ SHE CHUCKLES 211 00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,770 Or, as we say here in Tilling, 212 00:11:46,820 --> 00:11:48,940 au reservoir! 213 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:54,050 She's stolen your "reservoir". 214 00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:57,260 She heard it in Riseholme and smuggled it into Tilling! 215 00:11:58,420 --> 00:12:00,930 I fear that's not all she has stolen, Georgie. 216 00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:03,050 Come, let us unpack and take supper. 217 00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:06,180 ~ We have much to discuss. ~ Yes! 218 00:12:14,340 --> 00:12:16,140 Beautiful light. 219 00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:19,260 Yes, charming. 220 00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:30,260 GASPING 221 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,770 KNOCK ON DOOR 222 00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:38,930 Dr Dobbie! Dr Dobbie, please come quick! 223 00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:41,100 My canary's having a fit! 224 00:12:50,940 --> 00:12:52,370 Quai-hi! 225 00:12:52,420 --> 00:12:54,380 Quai-hi, damn you! 226 00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:57,930 SHE LAUGHS 227 00:12:57,980 --> 00:13:00,210 ? Will ye no' come back again? 228 00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:05,330 ? Will ye no' come back again? 229 00:13:05,380 --> 00:13:10,500 ? Better loved ye cannae be... ? 230 00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:13,690 Oh, it's entrancing. 231 00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:18,370 They're all being so themselves, and so human and busy. 232 00:13:18,420 --> 00:13:21,170 Must just rest here for a moment. 233 00:13:21,220 --> 00:13:24,450 That's quite a walk you've taken me on, Georgie. 234 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,890 ~ Oh, Lucia, look! ~ Hmm? 235 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:30,170 The house next door to yours is for rent too. 236 00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:32,730 Oh, yes, so it is. 237 00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:35,730 Looks charming. 238 00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:37,010 I'd be tempted to take it 239 00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:39,130 if I could get it for the months when you are here. 240 00:13:39,180 --> 00:13:41,930 Oh, what a delicious idea! Are you really thinking of it? 241 00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:43,370 Why not? 242 00:13:43,420 --> 00:13:46,690 Riseholme will be as dull as ditchwater without you there. 243 00:13:46,740 --> 00:13:48,770 Oh, heaven for me to have a friend here 244 00:13:48,820 --> 00:13:51,290 instead of being planted amongst strangers. 245 00:13:51,340 --> 00:13:54,450 We must pay a visit to the estate agent first thing in the morning. 246 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,810 Remember the name, Georgie. Woolgar and Pipstow. 247 00:13:56,860 --> 00:13:59,090 Woolgar and Pipstow, Woolgar and Pipstow. 248 00:13:59,140 --> 00:14:01,250 How exciting. Woolgar and Pipstow. 249 00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:02,810 ~ I hope it isn't taken. ~ Oh, I hope not. 250 00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:04,610 Woolgar and Pipstow, Woolgar and Pipstow. 251 00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:07,330 ~ Oh, what a summer we can have together, Georgie. ~ Oh, yes. 252 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,650 LUCIA GIGGLES 253 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,820 OWL HOOTS 254 00:14:11,860 --> 00:14:14,740 Woggles and Pickstick, was it? No... 255 00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:17,900 Woolworth and Poppit? 256 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,850 Hmm. 257 00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:23,620 SHE HUMS SOFTLY 258 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,380 WATER RUNS IN THE NEXT ROOM 259 00:14:38,220 --> 00:14:40,900 LOUD BRUSHING IN THE NEXT ROOM 260 00:14:42,460 --> 00:14:45,020 FAINT CREAK 261 00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:15,660 FAINT CREAK 262 00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:24,820 BOTH SIGH 263 00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:54,460 Woolgar and Pipstow. 264 00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:57,740 Yes, Woolgar and Pipstow. 265 00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:03,740 GENTLE KNOCKING 266 00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:06,780 Georgie? 267 00:16:08,180 --> 00:16:10,850 Georgie, it's me. 268 00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:12,580 May I come in? 269 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:19,410 HE GASPS 270 00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:21,300 DOOR CREAKS OPEN 271 00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:25,660 Lucia very cold next door. 272 00:16:26,940 --> 00:16:29,050 Is there room with you for snuggles? 273 00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:31,780 HE GASPS AND PANTS 274 00:16:37,140 --> 00:16:39,340 HE SIGHS 275 00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:45,490 Good morning, Georgie. 276 00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:47,450 Did you sleep well? 277 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:49,370 Yes, yes, like a baby. And you? 278 00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:51,530 Not a wink. 279 00:16:51,580 --> 00:16:53,340 Oh, dear. 280 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:55,970 Delicious, isn't it, 281 00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:59,290 to think of the new interchange of experience which awaits us here? 282 00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:01,570 Riseholme is in a rut, Georgie. 283 00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:04,610 We're in a rut and we want, both of us, to get out of it. 284 00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:08,450 Yes. Yes, a change is as good as a rest, and all that, 285 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:12,050 but we can still enjoy our sewing and our music 286 00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:14,970 and our painting, can't we... as friends? 287 00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:17,810 Of course, dear. 288 00:17:17,860 --> 00:17:19,770 That's why I brought you with me. 289 00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:22,650 I'd hoped you'd fall in love with Tilling as I had done 290 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,810 and we can summer here together. 291 00:17:24,860 --> 00:17:27,340 Yes... as friends. 292 00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:33,210 You are my rock, Georgie, and always will be. 293 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:36,050 Now, let us find that house agent. Did you remember the name? 294 00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,650 Wimsey and Pippin, wasn't it? 295 00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:41,860 No, wasn't it Williams and something? I had it last night... 296 00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:49,290 ~ And how many grapefruits do you have? ~ About half a dozen? 297 00:17:49,340 --> 00:17:53,370 I'll take the lot. Hollywood diet. I'm starting tomorrow. 298 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:56,410 And some pepper for my canary, please. 299 00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:58,580 ~ He's got the pip. ~ Right-o. 300 00:18:18,220 --> 00:18:22,660 ~ Oh! Porpoise Street! ~ That's the dentist's. 301 00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:25,220 Maybe she's got toothache? 302 00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:29,540 Else they're paying their respects to Mr and Mrs Wyse. 303 00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:40,690 So sorry to keep you waiting. 304 00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:42,770 Figgis thought that I was in the garden 305 00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:45,900 but I was in my boudoir all the time. Susan Wyse. 306 00:18:47,420 --> 00:18:49,730 ~ Charmed. ~ Do sit down. 307 00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:54,340 You must excuse my deshabille, just my shopping frock. 308 00:18:55,340 --> 00:18:58,170 You wish to discuss Mallards Cottage, Mr Pillson? 309 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:01,330 Yes. The house agent told us it belonged to your daughter, 310 00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:02,890 but she can't be contacted. 311 00:19:02,940 --> 00:19:07,050 Oh, dear Isabel, out in the sand dunes all morning. 312 00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:10,330 "What if a tramp came along?" I say to her, but no use. 313 00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:12,530 She calls it the Browning Society 314 00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:14,700 and she must not miss a meeting. 315 00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:18,010 How amusing. 316 00:19:18,060 --> 00:19:22,020 Browning, not the poet, but the action of the sun. 317 00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,450 Oh, and here's Mr Wyse. 318 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,450 Algernon, Mrs Lucas and Mr Pillson. 319 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,530 Mr Pillson wishes to take Mallards Cottage. 320 00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:34,370 From your beautiful Riseholme, I understand. 321 00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:35,810 News travels fast. 322 00:19:35,860 --> 00:19:38,730 And we are all encouraging ourselves to hope that the charm 323 00:19:38,780 --> 00:19:42,410 of our picturesque little Tilling might for two months at least 324 00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:45,930 give Susan and myself the inestimable pleasure 325 00:19:45,980 --> 00:19:47,650 of being your neighbours. 326 00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:50,770 Oh, but the pleasure's all mine, Mr Wyse. 327 00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:55,010 Yes. Well, we have to leave soon, so I was rather hoping... 328 00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:58,050 Yes, Algernon, tell Figgis to bring the Royce to the door. 329 00:19:58,100 --> 00:19:59,850 The street is steep, Mrs Lucas, 330 00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:02,330 and the cobbles most unpleasant to walk on. 331 00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:07,410 Oh! So like the servants to leave this lying about! 332 00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:10,650 Oh, an Order of some sort? 333 00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:12,770 Member of the British Empire, 334 00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:17,930 graciously bestowed upon myself for services to the Tilling hospital. 335 00:20:17,980 --> 00:20:21,090 The servants are under strict instructions to keep the box closed, 336 00:20:21,140 --> 00:20:25,130 but they seem proud of it and like to show it off. 337 00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:27,410 ~ Congratulations. ~ Oh, not worth mentioning. 338 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,050 CAR APPROACHES 339 00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:30,690 Oh, that will be the Royce. 340 00:20:30,740 --> 00:20:32,730 A warm morning, is it not? 341 00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:35,380 I don't think I shall need my furs. 342 00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:39,540 Drive on, Ghashley. 343 00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:50,860 There, now. 344 00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:59,530 Dear Mrs Lucas, I just popped across to see if you would not take 345 00:20:59,580 --> 00:21:03,570 an early lunch with me before returning to your lovely Riseholme. 346 00:21:03,620 --> 00:21:08,820 Oh, so kind, but Mrs Wyse has just asked us to lunch with her. 347 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:12,250 I see. 348 00:21:12,300 --> 00:21:14,130 What a pity. 349 00:21:14,180 --> 00:21:19,010 I had hoped but... there it is. 350 00:21:19,060 --> 00:21:20,130 Sweet Susan! 351 00:21:20,180 --> 00:21:21,690 Elizabeth. 352 00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:25,370 I should scold you for stealing away my tenant like that... 353 00:21:25,420 --> 00:21:28,170 and Mr Wyse too. How-de-do? 354 00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:30,450 De-do. 355 00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:33,700 ~ Having an early luncheon, I gather? ~ Quite so. 356 00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:51,170 Well, I should just toddle on and fill my basket 357 00:21:51,220 --> 00:21:53,610 with provisions for one. 358 00:21:53,660 --> 00:21:57,090 Have a safe journey back to Riseholme, Mrs Lucas, Mr Pillson. 359 00:21:57,140 --> 00:22:00,010 And as we say here in Tilling, au... 360 00:22:00,060 --> 00:22:02,250 Au reservoir. 361 00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:04,020 Ah! 362 00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:08,020 Shall we? 363 00:22:09,820 --> 00:22:13,010 Extraordinary, her face when I said we were dining with Mrs Wyse. 364 00:22:13,060 --> 00:22:15,370 Like she wanted to bite or scratch her. 365 00:22:15,420 --> 00:22:18,290 As if Mrs Wyse had pocketed something of hers. 366 00:22:18,340 --> 00:22:20,810 I think she means to run me, Georgie. 367 00:22:20,860 --> 00:22:24,370 I believe Tilling is seething with intrigue, but we shall see. 368 00:22:24,420 --> 00:22:25,900 We shall see. 369 00:22:27,740 --> 00:22:29,970 Poor Susan. 370 00:22:30,020 --> 00:22:33,820 Ever since she married Mr Wyse, she's become quite the snob. 371 00:22:35,340 --> 00:22:40,210 The fur coat, the extravagant fundraising. 372 00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:43,410 I think there is quite an air of desperation about her, 373 00:22:43,460 --> 00:22:45,730 wouldn't you agree? 374 00:22:45,780 --> 00:22:48,410 None of my business, I'm sure, Miss Elizabeth. 375 00:22:48,460 --> 00:22:51,890 But the ladies of Tilling do have a pretty sharp eye 376 00:22:51,940 --> 00:22:54,970 for each other's failings, that's for sure. 377 00:22:55,020 --> 00:22:57,130 Funny little fairies! 378 00:22:57,180 --> 00:22:59,260 Oh, no offence. 379 00:23:01,220 --> 00:23:03,930 I must be sure to offer Mrs Lucas my protection 380 00:23:03,980 --> 00:23:08,370 against the undesirable elements of Tilling society. 381 00:23:08,420 --> 00:23:10,850 It would be such a tragedy 382 00:23:10,900 --> 00:23:13,450 if she were to form a misleading impression 383 00:23:13,500 --> 00:23:16,060 of our happy little community. 384 00:23:19,740 --> 00:23:25,180 I wonder, Major, might I offer you a whisky and soda? 385 00:23:26,180 --> 00:23:27,490 I shan't be shocked. 386 00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:30,530 Ah, well! Deuced warm day, what? 387 00:23:30,580 --> 00:23:32,460 Why not? Capital. 388 00:23:34,860 --> 00:23:40,770 Yes, I'm not sure our dear friends realise that poor Mrs Lucas 389 00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:44,580 is still in mourning for her late husband. 390 00:23:47,180 --> 00:23:50,170 She made it quite clear to me that on her return 391 00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:53,930 she did not wish to be called upon... 392 00:23:53,980 --> 00:23:55,570 SODA SIPHON HISSES 393 00:23:55,620 --> 00:23:58,370 .. or invited to luncheons hither and thither. 394 00:23:58,420 --> 00:24:00,730 SODA SIPHON HISSES 395 00:24:00,780 --> 00:24:02,370 Of course, I didn't say anything 396 00:24:02,420 --> 00:24:04,970 because there's nothing that Tilling detests 397 00:24:05,020 --> 00:24:10,180 more than any hint of, shall we say, superiority. 398 00:24:15,860 --> 00:24:19,290 But it might be kind if word did get round... 399 00:24:19,340 --> 00:24:21,010 What? 400 00:24:21,060 --> 00:24:22,730 Oh, yes, quite so, quite so. 401 00:24:22,780 --> 00:24:26,010 Mrs Lucas, solitary confinement. 402 00:24:26,060 --> 00:24:27,530 HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 403 00:24:27,580 --> 00:24:30,620 The King... God bless him. 404 00:24:58,820 --> 00:25:00,610 Mrs Plaidstow. 405 00:25:00,660 --> 00:25:02,020 Major. 406 00:25:29,460 --> 00:25:31,740 Enjoy. 407 00:25:35,340 --> 00:25:37,140 Oh, no. 408 00:25:38,220 --> 00:25:39,660 There! 409 00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:11,220 ROUSING MUSIC PLAYS 410 00:26:24,300 --> 00:26:26,770 Don't, Kenneth! No, she doesn't want a fuss. 411 00:26:26,820 --> 00:26:30,060 She's grieving, remember. Ooh! 412 00:26:33,420 --> 00:26:37,140 Well, she disnae hide her light under a bushel, that's for sure. 413 00:26:40,220 --> 00:26:42,010 Everything all right, Georgie? 414 00:26:42,060 --> 00:26:44,970 Yes, yes, I just want to make sure Foljambe's happy. 415 00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:46,730 Well, why wouldn't she be? 416 00:26:46,780 --> 00:26:48,770 The maid's room is very spacious. 417 00:26:48,820 --> 00:26:51,770 Foljambe's more than a maid, Lucia, you know that. 418 00:26:51,820 --> 00:26:55,050 That's like saying your Royal Doulton's just a plate. 419 00:26:55,100 --> 00:26:56,410 It IS a plate. 420 00:26:56,460 --> 00:26:58,170 You know what I mean. 421 00:26:58,220 --> 00:27:00,140 Well, Foljambe? 422 00:27:01,260 --> 00:27:04,010 ~ Very nice, sir. ~ It'll do? 423 00:27:04,060 --> 00:27:06,250 It'll more than do, sir. 424 00:27:06,300 --> 00:27:09,410 I think we shall have a very pleasant summer here. 425 00:27:09,460 --> 00:27:11,340 Very pleasant indeed. 426 00:27:12,540 --> 00:27:14,970 ~ Thank you. ~ Everyone happy, Georgie? 427 00:27:15,020 --> 00:27:17,620 ~ Yes. ~ Foljambe's pleased with it? ~ She loves it. 428 00:27:19,260 --> 00:27:21,450 Well, she can't be that much of a recluse 429 00:27:21,500 --> 00:27:23,770 if she's allowing herself to be photographed. 430 00:27:23,820 --> 00:27:26,490 An Elizabethan fete. Verily, that's quite an undertaking. 431 00:27:26,540 --> 00:27:28,490 Hmm, she was Good Queen Bess, apparently, 432 00:27:28,540 --> 00:27:31,450 and the Pillson chap was Drake, if you can imagine such a thing. 433 00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:34,250 Not much of a hand against the Spaniards, I should think. 434 00:27:34,300 --> 00:27:36,770 Tea parties with a load of old cats more his line. 435 00:27:36,820 --> 00:27:37,890 DIVA LAUGHS 436 00:27:37,940 --> 00:27:40,450 Imagine if Tilling were in the newspapers. 437 00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:42,570 Oh, that would be awful, wouldn't it? 438 00:27:42,620 --> 00:27:45,140 ~ Unbearable. ~ Good morning! 439 00:27:46,300 --> 00:27:48,890 ~ Mrs Lucas. ~ My first ever morning shop. 440 00:27:48,940 --> 00:27:51,060 Quite a Tilling tradition, I gather. 441 00:27:54,140 --> 00:27:58,180 Er... Anything of interest in the newspapers today? 442 00:27:58,900 --> 00:28:00,850 We shall have fog by teatime. 443 00:28:00,900 --> 00:28:02,220 Good day. 444 00:28:04,060 --> 00:28:07,580 I see you have another fine day for your... 445 00:28:09,100 --> 00:28:10,620 .. golf. 446 00:28:21,540 --> 00:28:25,010 Mr Pillson, please forgive my unwarrantable rudeness. 447 00:28:25,060 --> 00:28:28,090 I merely meant to take a peep at your delightful sketch 448 00:28:28,140 --> 00:28:31,170 ~ and then to steal away. ~ No, that's quite all right. 449 00:28:31,220 --> 00:28:33,690 I'm struggling with the perspective, actually. 450 00:28:33,740 --> 00:28:37,050 It's so tiresome when you mean to make a path go uphill 451 00:28:37,100 --> 00:28:39,170 and it goes downhill instead. 452 00:28:39,220 --> 00:28:40,730 Not a bit of it. 453 00:28:40,780 --> 00:28:44,370 Da Vinci himself could not have captured the scene more faithfully. 454 00:28:44,420 --> 00:28:46,010 Oh, thank you. 455 00:28:46,060 --> 00:28:48,450 I'm going to give it to Miss Mapp as a gift. 456 00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:51,490 A little thank-you for introducing Lucia and me to Tilling. 457 00:28:51,540 --> 00:28:54,850 Then I will leave you to your masterpiece and bid you good day... 458 00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:57,730 ~ Oh! ~ .. for I know how closely Mrs Lucas and yourself 459 00:28:57,780 --> 00:28:59,540 value your privacy. 460 00:29:01,420 --> 00:29:04,610 ~ Au reservoir. ~ Oh, yes. Yes, but that's not what... 461 00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:06,420 Thank you. 462 00:29:10,220 --> 00:29:11,780 Very strange. 463 00:29:15,620 --> 00:29:19,050 .. chair inside the door. And mind that floor - there's a rug. 464 00:29:19,100 --> 00:29:22,370 ~ Oh, don't mind me. ~ Can I help you, Miss? 465 00:29:22,420 --> 00:29:24,810 Just popped in to fetch a thimble that I left behind. 466 00:29:24,860 --> 00:29:26,450 I'll just scriggle through here. 467 00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:29,530 Oh, goodness me, that looks like heavy work. 468 00:29:29,580 --> 00:29:31,130 No need to follow me. 469 00:29:31,180 --> 00:29:34,130 I know precisely where it is. Not scraping any walls, I hope. 470 00:29:34,180 --> 00:29:35,620 No, Miss, no. 471 00:29:36,700 --> 00:29:39,450 She's shunted the Blumenfeld into the telephone room 472 00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:41,690 and she's hired a new piano from Brighton. 473 00:29:41,740 --> 00:29:44,090 No! Think of the expense! 474 00:29:44,140 --> 00:29:46,690 I can only assume that dear Mama's instrument 475 00:29:46,740 --> 00:29:49,010 was not quite good enough for her. 476 00:29:49,060 --> 00:29:51,300 DIVA CHUCKLES 477 00:29:57,780 --> 00:30:00,220 Unbelievable extravagance. 478 00:30:01,660 --> 00:30:03,810 Oh, Grosvenor, you quite startled me. 479 00:30:03,860 --> 00:30:06,050 I just popped into the kitchen 480 00:30:06,100 --> 00:30:09,420 to retrieve this little screwdriver - so useful! 481 00:30:11,300 --> 00:30:14,490 Quantities of tinned goods from Fortnum and Mason 482 00:30:14,540 --> 00:30:17,620 ~ and Darjeeling tea imported direct from India. ~ No! 483 00:30:19,060 --> 00:30:22,410 Rather ostentatious, not quite the Tilling way, 484 00:30:22,460 --> 00:30:26,460 but we mustn't pass judgment... dear Evie... 485 00:30:27,740 --> 00:30:29,340 .. not yet. 486 00:30:41,300 --> 00:30:42,580 Oh, you dear thief! 487 00:30:45,060 --> 00:30:47,770 What about garden produce? 488 00:30:47,820 --> 00:30:49,450 I beg your pardon? 489 00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:52,370 It's just my little joke, Lulu, darling. 490 00:30:52,420 --> 00:30:55,250 You may eat every fig in my garden 491 00:30:55,300 --> 00:30:57,460 and I wish there were more! 492 00:31:00,700 --> 00:31:04,020 My hot-water bottle, such a comfort. 493 00:31:06,780 --> 00:31:09,650 She'd practically stripped the entire tree of figs, 494 00:31:09,700 --> 00:31:11,490 despite of the terms of her tenancy, 495 00:31:11,540 --> 00:31:14,050 and I just stood by in absolute silence. 496 00:31:14,100 --> 00:31:16,020 HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 497 00:31:16,580 --> 00:31:18,690 ~ Couldn't say a word. ~ Ohh. 498 00:31:18,740 --> 00:31:20,330 Oh, bad luck. 499 00:31:20,380 --> 00:31:22,060 HE GRUMBLES 500 00:31:23,740 --> 00:31:26,250 Ah, Coplen, I'd like you to cut the lawn today, 501 00:31:26,300 --> 00:31:27,970 it's got dreadfully long. 502 00:31:28,020 --> 00:31:30,930 Very sorry, ma'am, I don't think I can find the time. 503 00:31:30,980 --> 00:31:34,050 Miss Mapp has asked me to manure the strawberry beds today. 504 00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:36,650 But what has Miss Mapp got to do with it? 505 00:31:36,700 --> 00:31:38,130 You're in my employment now. 506 00:31:38,180 --> 00:31:41,170 But my orders are to go to Miss Mapp every morning 507 00:31:41,220 --> 00:31:43,610 and she tells me what she wants done. 508 00:31:43,660 --> 00:31:45,810 In future, I'd like you to come to me every morning 509 00:31:45,860 --> 00:31:47,980 and ask me what I would like done. 510 00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:51,610 No strawberry beds will be manured 511 00:31:51,660 --> 00:31:55,020 until the garden looks less like a tramp that hasn't shaved for a week. 512 00:31:56,380 --> 00:31:57,730 Yes, ma'am. 513 00:31:57,780 --> 00:31:59,780 MAPP AND COPLEN ARGUE 514 00:32:06,980 --> 00:32:10,090 No strawberries, Mrs Lucas's orders, Elizabeth furious. 515 00:32:10,140 --> 00:32:11,850 Oh, dear! 516 00:32:11,900 --> 00:32:15,050 Ha! Well, I, for one, adore her already. 517 00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:17,330 Let battle commence! 518 00:32:17,380 --> 00:32:18,770 THEY LAUGH 519 00:32:18,820 --> 00:32:22,820 SHE PLAYS HALTINGLY: Turkish March by Mozart 520 00:32:31,700 --> 00:32:33,500 May I pop in, dear? 521 00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:38,490 So sorry to interrupt your sweet music 522 00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:42,650 but my Coplen has just come to me in great perplexity. 523 00:32:42,700 --> 00:32:44,490 What SEEMS to be the problem? 524 00:32:44,540 --> 00:32:47,090 A little misunderstanding, no doubt. 525 00:32:47,140 --> 00:32:49,250 Coplen is not clever. 526 00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:51,970 I said I would come to see you and make it all right. 527 00:32:52,020 --> 00:32:53,890 Nothing easier, dear. 528 00:32:53,940 --> 00:32:55,810 He didn't quite grasp, I think, 529 00:32:55,860 --> 00:32:57,530 that he is in my employment. 530 00:32:57,580 --> 00:32:59,730 Naturally, I reminded him of it. 531 00:32:59,780 --> 00:33:02,330 He understands now, I hope? 532 00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:05,450 But my garden produce, Lulu, dear! 533 00:33:05,500 --> 00:33:09,170 It is not much use to me if my beautiful pears are left 534 00:33:09,220 --> 00:33:12,450 to rot on the trees until the wasps eat them. 535 00:33:12,500 --> 00:33:15,770 No doubt that is so, but Coplen, whose wages I pay, 536 00:33:15,820 --> 00:33:18,570 is of no use to me if he spends his entire time 537 00:33:18,620 --> 00:33:20,450 looking after your garden produce. 538 00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:22,580 So, that's settled. 539 00:33:25,060 --> 00:33:28,690 Lulu, anything would be better than that 540 00:33:28,740 --> 00:33:32,570 I should have a misunderstanding with such a dear as you. 541 00:33:32,620 --> 00:33:35,010 I won't argue. 542 00:33:35,060 --> 00:33:37,820 I won't put my point of view at all. 543 00:33:38,580 --> 00:33:40,700 I yield. 544 00:33:42,220 --> 00:33:43,700 There! 545 00:33:44,700 --> 00:33:47,410 If you CAN spare Coplen for an hour in the morning 546 00:33:47,460 --> 00:33:50,970 to take my little fruits and vegetables to the greengrocer's... 547 00:33:51,020 --> 00:33:52,970 Quite impossible, I'm afraid, dear. 548 00:33:53,020 --> 00:33:56,210 Coplen has been neglecting the flower garden dreadfully, 549 00:33:56,260 --> 00:33:58,610 so you'll have to find somebody else. 550 00:33:58,660 --> 00:34:02,730 Oh, precious one, it shall be just as you wish. 551 00:34:02,780 --> 00:34:04,940 And I must run away. 552 00:34:06,660 --> 00:34:08,380 Au reservoir! 553 00:34:09,540 --> 00:34:12,340 PIANO PLAYING RESUMES 554 00:34:14,700 --> 00:34:17,090 PLAYING STOPS, LOUD SIGH 555 00:34:17,140 --> 00:34:19,500 PLAYING RESUMES 556 00:34:26,460 --> 00:34:28,530 Mr Pillson's here, ma'am. 557 00:34:28,580 --> 00:34:32,250 Show him into the dining room Grosvenor... slowly. 558 00:34:32,300 --> 00:34:33,700 Oh, yes. 559 00:34:41,740 --> 00:34:44,210 Things are beginning to move, Georgie. 560 00:34:44,260 --> 00:34:46,130 Night marches. Manoeuvres. 561 00:34:46,180 --> 00:34:49,130 Elizabeth, as I suspected, wishes to run me. And if she can't... ha! 562 00:34:49,180 --> 00:34:51,290 ~ If?! ~ If she can't, she'll try to fight me. 563 00:34:51,340 --> 00:34:53,450 I see glimpses of malice in her. 564 00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:55,170 So you'll fight her? 565 00:34:55,220 --> 00:34:57,650 Of course not, dear. What do you take me for? 566 00:34:57,700 --> 00:34:59,530 I positively hate that kind of thing. 567 00:34:59,580 --> 00:35:02,610 As if it matters who takes the lead. No, no, no. I shan't fight. 568 00:35:02,660 --> 00:35:05,730 But every now and then, when I deem it absolutely necessary, 569 00:35:05,780 --> 00:35:08,250 I might have to give her one or two hard slaps. 570 00:35:08,300 --> 00:35:11,330 I won't have her walking into my house without ringing, 571 00:35:11,380 --> 00:35:13,970 ~ so I told Grosvenor to put up a chain. ~ No! 572 00:35:14,020 --> 00:35:16,770 Mm-hm, and she calls me Lulu, which makes me feel sick. 573 00:35:16,820 --> 00:35:19,370 Nobody has ever called me Lulu and they shan't begin now. 574 00:35:19,420 --> 00:35:21,090 And what about the others? 575 00:35:21,140 --> 00:35:23,410 I've found them all cold and a little stand-offish. 576 00:35:23,460 --> 00:35:25,770 I have no doubt that a campaign has been waged - 577 00:35:25,820 --> 00:35:26,930 divide and rule - 578 00:35:26,980 --> 00:35:30,570 so I'm going to ask Diva and the major to dinner tomorrow night. 579 00:35:30,620 --> 00:35:31,890 You'll come too, of course. 580 00:35:31,940 --> 00:35:34,930 SHRIEK OF LAUGHTER 581 00:35:34,980 --> 00:35:36,930 'Chocolates for her, curry for him. 582 00:35:36,980 --> 00:35:40,100 'We'll play bridge and let the major lay down the law. 583 00:35:42,020 --> 00:35:45,290 'Then, the following evening, I shall ask the Wyses 584 00:35:45,340 --> 00:35:48,220 'and talk about fundraising and MBEs. 585 00:35:49,540 --> 00:35:53,500 'Then the Bartletts and Irene for Scotch and art.' 586 00:35:55,380 --> 00:35:58,250 It's new in Tilling, I find, to give little dinners - 587 00:35:58,300 --> 00:36:00,290 tea being the usual entertainment - 588 00:36:00,340 --> 00:36:02,730 so I won't ask Elizabeth for at least a week. 589 00:36:02,780 --> 00:36:04,650 But, my dear, isn't that war? 590 00:36:04,700 --> 00:36:07,050 Not at all. It's benevolent neutrality. 591 00:36:07,100 --> 00:36:09,970 We'll soon see if she learns any sense. 592 00:36:10,020 --> 00:36:11,890 And now, Georgie, un po di musica. 593 00:36:11,940 --> 00:36:14,090 Let us spend an hour with Mozart 594 00:36:14,140 --> 00:36:17,140 and repel all thoughts of discord. 595 00:36:18,820 --> 00:36:20,890 The new duet came this morning. 596 00:36:20,940 --> 00:36:23,820 I haven't had a chance to look at it yet. 597 00:36:26,780 --> 00:36:29,530 ~ Oh! ~ Oh! Seems awfully difficult. 598 00:36:29,580 --> 00:36:32,210 ~ Me fwightened. ~ Georgie fwightened too. 599 00:36:32,260 --> 00:36:33,770 Looks dwefful diffy. 600 00:36:33,820 --> 00:36:35,290 Naughty Mozart! 601 00:36:35,340 --> 00:36:38,650 You must be patient with me, caro, you know how badly I sight-read. 602 00:36:38,700 --> 00:36:40,570 Uno, due, tre... 603 00:36:40,620 --> 00:36:42,860 THEY PLAY: Turkish March by Mozart 604 00:37:05,420 --> 00:37:06,850 Well...? 605 00:37:06,900 --> 00:37:08,210 Well, what, dear? 606 00:37:08,260 --> 00:37:09,900 Mrs Lucas. 607 00:37:11,620 --> 00:37:13,490 Dinner. 608 00:37:13,540 --> 00:37:19,210 Yes. It's about time Tilling started doing dinners, Algernon agrees. 609 00:37:19,260 --> 00:37:21,050 We accepted, of course. 610 00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:23,060 Accepted what? 611 00:37:24,220 --> 00:37:26,740 What are you all talking about? 612 00:37:34,860 --> 00:37:39,380 I shouldn't really, but as you've gone to all this trouble... 613 00:37:41,820 --> 00:37:44,570 Your very good health, Mrs Lucas. 614 00:37:44,620 --> 00:37:46,170 And yours, Major. 615 00:37:46,220 --> 00:37:47,620 Your health. 616 00:37:55,500 --> 00:37:57,810 And did you speak to the Queen? 617 00:37:57,860 --> 00:37:59,930 Indeed I did. 618 00:37:59,980 --> 00:38:04,940 She turned to me and said, "So pleased." 619 00:38:06,420 --> 00:38:09,410 And what she put into those two words 620 00:38:09,460 --> 00:38:11,700 I'm sure I can never convey to you. 621 00:38:12,780 --> 00:38:14,580 Fascinating. 622 00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:26,810 "Aye," he says, "but when petticoats woo, breeks may come speed." 623 00:38:26,860 --> 00:38:28,900 ALL LAUGH 624 00:38:30,420 --> 00:38:34,930 And now, Mrs Lucas, if I may, a toast to absent friends. 625 00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:37,900 ALL: Absent friends. 626 00:38:43,940 --> 00:38:46,650 Nice figs. From the garden? 627 00:38:46,700 --> 00:38:50,010 Yes, dear, via Twistevant's of course. Such a quaint name. 628 00:38:50,060 --> 00:38:51,490 No bid. 629 00:38:51,540 --> 00:38:53,970 But doesn't Elizabeth give you garden produce? 630 00:38:54,020 --> 00:38:57,010 No, just flowers for the house, nothing more. 631 00:38:57,060 --> 00:38:58,970 But I fully understood... 632 00:38:59,020 --> 00:39:00,730 At least I... 633 00:39:00,780 --> 00:39:02,580 Well, I thought that... 634 00:39:03,900 --> 00:39:07,210 Well, well, who gives a fig, eh, Pillson, what? 635 00:39:07,260 --> 00:39:09,090 HE CHUCKLES 636 00:39:09,140 --> 00:39:10,970 The major's correct, as always. 637 00:39:11,020 --> 00:39:14,370 We must not let fruit come between friends. 638 00:39:14,420 --> 00:39:15,930 But it's not fair! 639 00:39:15,980 --> 00:39:18,690 She's got my house, with garden produce thrown in, 640 00:39:18,740 --> 00:39:20,290 for eight guineas a week 641 00:39:20,340 --> 00:39:23,820 and she lets out her own, without garden produce, for 12. 642 00:39:26,140 --> 00:39:28,980 No, dear, I pay 15. 643 00:39:30,700 --> 00:39:34,860 But it's down in Woolgar's books at 12, I saw it myself! 644 00:39:36,980 --> 00:39:38,730 Dear Elizabeth. 645 00:39:38,780 --> 00:39:41,530 So glad she was sharp enough to get a few more guineas. 646 00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:43,940 THEY LAUGH 647 00:39:45,740 --> 00:39:47,610 Yes... Damn! 648 00:39:47,660 --> 00:39:53,170 We read with interest about your Elizabethan fete at Riseholme. 649 00:39:53,220 --> 00:39:55,690 A great success, I understand? 650 00:39:55,740 --> 00:39:59,450 Lucia was marvellous. Organised the whole thing single-handed. 651 00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:01,090 No bid. 652 00:40:01,140 --> 00:40:05,210 We so much want somebody at Tilling who can carry through 653 00:40:05,260 --> 00:40:06,810 schemes like that. 654 00:40:06,860 --> 00:40:10,930 The hospital, for instance, is always in need of funds. 655 00:40:10,980 --> 00:40:14,170 ~ Oh? ~ No bid. 656 00:40:14,220 --> 00:40:16,850 Perhaps a garden fete would be simple to organise. 657 00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:20,290 We could have it in the garden here, half a crown admission, 658 00:40:20,340 --> 00:40:22,290 some tableaux vivants... 659 00:40:22,340 --> 00:40:26,250 I was trying to summon my courage to suggest exactly that. 660 00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:29,770 The use of Mallards' garden has never previously been 661 00:40:29,820 --> 00:40:34,010 allowed for such a purpose. We've often lamented it. 662 00:40:34,060 --> 00:40:37,650 You should form a committee, Padre, along with Mrs Wyse, 663 00:40:37,700 --> 00:40:39,330 who really thought of the idea. 664 00:40:39,380 --> 00:40:41,610 And with yourself, that'll make three. 665 00:40:41,660 --> 00:40:43,370 Well, that's enough for any committee 666 00:40:43,420 --> 00:40:45,810 that's going to do its work without any argle-bargle. 667 00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:48,850 The major could read from his Indian diaries 668 00:40:48,900 --> 00:40:51,450 and Irene knows all manner of amusing verses! 669 00:40:51,500 --> 00:40:53,330 The boy stood on the burning deck 670 00:40:53,380 --> 00:40:54,810 The deck was made of brass 671 00:40:54,860 --> 00:40:56,690 He did a double somersault 672 00:40:56,740 --> 00:40:58,010 And landed on his... 673 00:40:58,060 --> 00:41:00,010 Ace of diamonds. Thank you, Irene. 674 00:41:00,060 --> 00:41:03,210 We could recreate Elizabeth and Drake from the fete at Riseholme. 675 00:41:03,260 --> 00:41:05,610 And if Miss Mapp would supply the refreshment booth 676 00:41:05,660 --> 00:41:08,690 with fruit from her garden here, that would be a great help. 677 00:41:08,740 --> 00:41:10,410 Oh, how you all work me! 678 00:41:10,460 --> 00:41:12,970 And to think I'd planned a little holiday in Tilling. 679 00:41:13,020 --> 00:41:15,810 ~ We must start work in earnest tomorrow. ~ Capital! 680 00:41:15,860 --> 00:41:19,170 Most agreeable evening of bridge I've ever spent in this room, 681 00:41:19,220 --> 00:41:20,650 eh, Mrs Plaistow? 682 00:41:20,700 --> 00:41:23,900 Oh, I'll say. Makes a pleasant change. 683 00:41:25,620 --> 00:41:28,220 SHE GUFFAWS 684 00:41:29,500 --> 00:41:31,050 Oh, I'm exhausted. 685 00:41:31,100 --> 00:41:34,170 I hate pretending to lose at bridge every night, it's so tiresome! 686 00:41:34,220 --> 00:41:36,770 But how happy it made them, Georgie! 687 00:41:36,820 --> 00:41:39,770 And what are a few pennies and a little pride 688 00:41:39,820 --> 00:41:42,050 if we can bring joy to others? 689 00:41:42,100 --> 00:41:45,130 I wonder if you're wise to join the committee, though. 690 00:41:45,180 --> 00:41:49,810 ~ It might seem... ~ Hmm, I know what you mean... Grabby. ~ Hmm. 691 00:41:49,860 --> 00:41:51,970 No, you're right. 692 00:41:52,020 --> 00:41:54,530 I shall drop a line to the padre in the morning saying 693 00:41:54,580 --> 00:41:58,780 I'm really too busy and beg him to ask Elizabeth instead. 694 00:42:12,260 --> 00:42:14,900 In the light, in the light. 695 00:42:15,940 --> 00:42:17,770 ~ Ready? ~ Hmm. 696 00:42:17,820 --> 00:42:19,570 SHE GASPS 697 00:42:19,620 --> 00:42:20,970 It's beautiful. 698 00:42:21,020 --> 00:42:22,730 Well, thank you, Foljambe. 699 00:42:22,780 --> 00:42:24,530 I chose the frame myself. 700 00:42:24,580 --> 00:42:27,890 I thought it accentuated the architecture rather nicely. 701 00:42:27,940 --> 00:42:30,410 ~ I wouldn't know about that, sir. ~ Ahh. 702 00:42:30,460 --> 00:42:32,490 Well, could you wrap it up in your special way 703 00:42:32,540 --> 00:42:33,930 with the little bow on top 704 00:42:33,980 --> 00:42:36,210 and send it to Miss Mapp at Wasters Cottage, please? 705 00:42:36,260 --> 00:42:38,850 ~ It's a peace offering. ~ Very good, sir. 706 00:42:38,900 --> 00:42:40,500 HE SIGHS 707 00:42:57,100 --> 00:43:02,050 Dear Rev Bartlett, I'm afraid I must resign 708 00:43:02,100 --> 00:43:04,260 from the fundraising committee... 709 00:43:23,980 --> 00:43:25,810 May I come in, dear? 710 00:43:25,860 --> 00:43:27,650 Certainly. 711 00:43:27,700 --> 00:43:29,820 Sweet Lulu... 712 00:43:30,900 --> 00:43:34,410 .. first I... I must apologise so humbly. 713 00:43:34,460 --> 00:43:39,890 Such a stupid accident. I tried to open your front door just now 714 00:43:39,940 --> 00:43:42,810 and I gave it a teeny little push, 715 00:43:42,860 --> 00:43:46,850 and your servants had forgotten to take the chain down. 716 00:43:46,900 --> 00:43:48,850 I'm afraid I broke something. 717 00:43:48,900 --> 00:43:50,970 The hasp must have been rusty. 718 00:43:51,020 --> 00:43:53,770 But didn't Grosvenor open the door when you rang? 719 00:43:53,820 --> 00:43:55,850 Well, that's just what I forgot to do, dear. 720 00:43:55,900 --> 00:43:59,130 I thought I would just pop in to see you without troubling Grosvenor. 721 00:43:59,180 --> 00:44:00,650 You and I such friends, 722 00:44:00,700 --> 00:44:05,010 and so hard to remember that my little Mallards... 723 00:44:05,060 --> 00:44:07,210 Several things to talk about... 724 00:44:07,260 --> 00:44:11,220 But first, let us see what damage you've done. 725 00:44:16,100 --> 00:44:17,570 Any sign of rust, Grosvenor? 726 00:44:17,620 --> 00:44:18,930 No, madam. 727 00:44:18,980 --> 00:44:20,450 No? 728 00:44:20,500 --> 00:44:22,170 So sorry, dear Lulu, 729 00:44:22,220 --> 00:44:24,370 I had no idea the chain would be up. 730 00:44:24,420 --> 00:44:27,090 We all leave our doors on the latch in Tilling - 731 00:44:27,140 --> 00:44:31,570 ~ it's quite a habit. ~ Yes, I always used to in Riseholme. 732 00:44:31,620 --> 00:44:33,450 Let us go through to the garden room 733 00:44:33,500 --> 00:44:36,220 and you can tell me what you came to talk about. 734 00:44:37,140 --> 00:44:38,650 Yes, several things... 735 00:44:38,700 --> 00:44:45,130 Firstly, I'm collecting for a little jumble sale for the hospital... 736 00:44:45,180 --> 00:44:48,690 and I wanted to look out some old curtains and rugs 737 00:44:48,740 --> 00:44:51,130 from the cupboard in the spare room. 738 00:44:51,180 --> 00:44:55,050 May I just pop upstairs and poke about a bit to find them? 739 00:44:55,100 --> 00:44:58,250 By all means. Grosvenor will go round with you 740 00:44:58,300 --> 00:45:01,730 ~ as soon as she's back from the ironmonger's. ~ Thank you, dear, 741 00:45:01,780 --> 00:45:03,810 but there's no need to trouble Grosvenor. 742 00:45:03,860 --> 00:45:05,730 Then, another thing, 743 00:45:05,780 --> 00:45:08,370 I have heard a little gossip in the town 744 00:45:08,420 --> 00:45:12,530 about a fete which it is proposed to give in my garden. 745 00:45:12,580 --> 00:45:14,250 I feel sure it is mere tittle-tattle 746 00:45:14,300 --> 00:45:16,370 but I thought it better to come here 747 00:45:16,420 --> 00:45:19,730 to know from you that there is no foundation for it. 748 00:45:19,780 --> 00:45:22,330 But I hope there is a great deal. 749 00:45:22,380 --> 00:45:24,050 Some tableaux, some singing - 750 00:45:24,100 --> 00:45:26,730 in order to raise funds for the hospital - 751 00:45:26,780 --> 00:45:28,770 and it would be so kind if you could supply 752 00:45:28,820 --> 00:45:31,850 the fruit for the refreshment booth from your garden. 753 00:45:31,900 --> 00:45:34,050 That would be difficult, darling Lulu. 754 00:45:34,100 --> 00:45:36,930 I have contracted all my garden produce to Twistevant's. 755 00:45:36,980 --> 00:45:38,450 The fruit is no longer mine. 756 00:45:38,500 --> 00:45:41,490 Perhaps then you could let us have some fruit from Diva's garden, 757 00:45:41,540 --> 00:45:43,890 unless you've sold that also? 758 00:45:43,940 --> 00:45:48,610 The fete, dear one, is what I MUST speak about. 759 00:45:48,660 --> 00:45:52,530 I cannot permit it to happen in my garden. 760 00:45:52,580 --> 00:45:57,650 The rag-tag and bobtail of Tilling passing through my hall, 761 00:45:57,700 --> 00:46:01,210 all my carpets soiled and my flower beds trampled on, 762 00:46:01,260 --> 00:46:04,450 and how do I know that they will not steal upstairs 763 00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:06,290 and filch what they can find? 764 00:46:06,340 --> 00:46:08,930 Oh, there'll be no admission to the rooms in the house - 765 00:46:08,980 --> 00:46:10,610 I'll lock all the doors - 766 00:46:10,660 --> 00:46:13,930 and I'm sure that nobody in Tilling would be so ill-bred 767 00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:15,450 as to attempt to force them open. 768 00:46:15,500 --> 00:46:18,810 I will not have my little home sanctuary invaded! 769 00:46:18,860 --> 00:46:22,450 As long as I am tenant here, I will see whom I please and when I please. 770 00:46:22,500 --> 00:46:24,690 Or do you wish me to send you a list of the friends 771 00:46:24,740 --> 00:46:26,810 I invite to dinner for your sanction? 772 00:46:26,860 --> 00:46:28,370 But my dear Lulu... 773 00:46:28,420 --> 00:46:32,130 I must beg you not to call me Lulu, a detestable abbreviation. 774 00:46:32,180 --> 00:46:34,050 Yes, Grosvenor, what is it? 775 00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:36,010 The ironmonger's here, ma'am, 776 00:46:36,060 --> 00:46:40,090 and he says he will have to put in some rather large screws... 777 00:46:40,140 --> 00:46:43,450 Whatever is necessary to make the door safe. 778 00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:46,130 Now, Miss Mapp would like to look in the cupboards upstairs 779 00:46:46,180 --> 00:46:47,850 and take some of her own things away. 780 00:46:47,900 --> 00:46:50,410 Please go with her and give her EVERY facility. 781 00:46:50,460 --> 00:46:52,050 Yes, ma'am. 782 00:46:52,100 --> 00:46:53,730 It's this way, Miss. 783 00:46:53,780 --> 00:46:56,380 I'm aware of that, Grosvenor, thank you. 784 00:47:15,300 --> 00:47:16,660 Ah! 785 00:47:24,060 --> 00:47:26,890 Ohh, Withers! 786 00:47:26,940 --> 00:47:28,500 Withers! 787 00:47:29,900 --> 00:47:32,650 Miss Elizabeth, may I offer you some assistance? 788 00:47:32,700 --> 00:47:35,970 No, that's quite all right Major, I can... I can manage. 789 00:47:36,020 --> 00:47:37,620 Allow me, please. 790 00:47:46,700 --> 00:47:48,770 Everything all right, old girl? 791 00:47:48,820 --> 00:47:54,530 Yes. It's just been a... a trying morning, that's all. 792 00:47:54,580 --> 00:47:58,410 Well, a lot of lovely jumble for your sale, what? 793 00:47:58,460 --> 00:48:01,370 Make a pretty penny for the hospital, I'll be bound. 794 00:48:01,420 --> 00:48:03,220 It's junk, Major. 795 00:48:04,420 --> 00:48:07,810 Broken and sullied items that people have no earthly use for 796 00:48:07,860 --> 00:48:09,860 but cannot bear to throw away. 797 00:48:12,300 --> 00:48:14,020 Perfect jumble-sale fodder. 798 00:48:16,140 --> 00:48:17,860 Thank you, Tilling. 799 00:48:26,780 --> 00:48:28,260 Well... 800 00:48:29,660 --> 00:48:32,100 I'll leave you to your fairy business. 801 00:48:35,180 --> 00:48:36,740 Au reservoir. 802 00:49:04,380 --> 00:49:07,140 INDISTINCT CHATTER 803 00:49:15,300 --> 00:49:18,010 Could I draw your attention to the sixpenny tray, 804 00:49:18,060 --> 00:49:21,180 would you might have missed? It's just in the corner there. 805 00:49:24,500 --> 00:49:27,410 Ahh, from the house of Major Flint. 806 00:49:27,460 --> 00:49:30,370 He could hardly bear to part with it, poor soul, 807 00:49:30,420 --> 00:49:34,060 but it's such a good cause and so dear to my own heart. 808 00:49:38,180 --> 00:49:39,690 Elizabeth! 809 00:49:39,740 --> 00:49:41,050 Really! 810 00:49:41,100 --> 00:49:44,690 You never told me you were holding the jumble sale here, in my house! 811 00:49:44,740 --> 00:49:45,970 Really, dear? 812 00:49:46,020 --> 00:49:48,570 Well, I don't see what business it is of yours. 813 00:49:48,620 --> 00:49:52,210 As long as I am tenant here, I shall do what I please WHEN I please. 814 00:49:52,260 --> 00:49:54,970 Or do you wish me to send you a list of the people 815 00:49:55,020 --> 00:49:57,140 I invite in for your sanction?! 816 00:49:58,500 --> 00:50:00,020 Yes, dear? 817 00:50:23,740 --> 00:50:25,210 Morning, Withers. 818 00:50:25,260 --> 00:50:28,090 That's ninepence for the hearth brush, 819 00:50:28,140 --> 00:50:30,170 threepence each for the curtain rings 820 00:50:30,220 --> 00:50:34,170 and this little picture from the sixpenny tray, 821 00:50:34,220 --> 00:50:36,980 that makes just two shillings. 822 00:50:38,380 --> 00:50:39,860 Thank you, sir. 823 00:50:40,700 --> 00:50:42,220 Thank you. 824 00:50:46,860 --> 00:50:48,250 The frame alone cost... 825 00:50:48,300 --> 00:50:49,850 FOOTSTEPS APPROACH 826 00:50:49,900 --> 00:50:51,530 Good morning, one and all! 827 00:50:51,580 --> 00:50:54,050 How-de-do? How-de-do? 828 00:50:54,100 --> 00:50:56,050 I'm just on my way to the hospital 829 00:50:56,100 --> 00:50:58,130 with the takings from yesterday's sale. 830 00:50:58,180 --> 00:51:02,010 Fundraising for the hospital? Whatever gave you that idea(?) 831 00:51:02,060 --> 00:51:05,170 Well, one doesn't like to crow about one's charitable works, 832 00:51:05,220 --> 00:51:07,410 but as I was remarking to sweet Susan, 833 00:51:07,460 --> 00:51:11,650 one must all do one's bit to help those less fortunate than ourselves. 834 00:51:11,700 --> 00:51:14,330 Well, I hear it was a grand success. 835 00:51:14,380 --> 00:51:16,290 Yes, not a thing left. 836 00:51:16,340 --> 00:51:19,050 Mmm, some excellent bargains to be had, we're told. 837 00:51:19,100 --> 00:51:21,130 Works of art going cheap. 838 00:51:21,180 --> 00:51:25,210 Yes, well, one man's jumble is another man's jewel. 839 00:51:25,260 --> 00:51:27,930 You're looking especially quaint today, Irene dear, 840 00:51:27,980 --> 00:51:29,570 what's the occasion? 841 00:51:29,620 --> 00:51:32,450 Lucia's fete, Mapp dear, as you well know. 842 00:51:32,500 --> 00:51:36,010 Goodness me. Is that today? It had completely slipped my mind. 843 00:51:36,060 --> 00:51:38,970 Well, tell Lulu I may pop across if I can. 844 00:51:39,020 --> 00:51:44,250 Such a busy day - the hospital and getting the house ship-shape again - 845 00:51:44,300 --> 00:51:47,810 but I will try and SQUEEZE it in. 846 00:51:47,860 --> 00:51:50,170 No promises, mind. 847 00:51:50,220 --> 00:51:51,810 Au reservoir! 848 00:51:51,860 --> 00:51:53,410 Ooh! 849 00:51:53,460 --> 00:51:56,330 ~ WEST MIDLANDS ACCENT: ~ God forgive me for saying this, 850 00:51:56,380 --> 00:52:00,580 ~ but that woman tests my faith sometimes, she really does. ~ Kenneth! 851 00:52:01,860 --> 00:52:03,770 I'm so sorry, Mr Pillson, 852 00:52:03,820 --> 00:52:05,900 he doesn't often drop his Scotch. 853 00:52:08,940 --> 00:52:11,690 You didn't really think he was Scottish, did you? 854 00:52:11,740 --> 00:52:13,410 With that ridiculous accent? 855 00:52:13,460 --> 00:52:16,410 ~ I-I just assumed... ~ He puts it on for effect. 856 00:52:16,460 --> 00:52:19,620 MIMICS THE PADRE: Better to gie it laldy in the pulpit! 857 00:52:21,020 --> 00:52:25,340 OWN VOICE: We all have our little affectations in Tilling, Georgie. 858 00:52:27,140 --> 00:52:29,130 Come on, Sailor... 859 00:52:29,180 --> 00:52:31,650 make me a cocktail and I'll show you my hornpipe. 860 00:52:31,700 --> 00:52:33,170 THEY CHUCKLE 861 00:52:33,220 --> 00:52:35,330 Offer I can't refuse. 862 00:52:35,380 --> 00:52:38,140 MUSIC AND CHATTER 863 00:52:54,100 --> 00:52:55,530 Right, I'm off. 864 00:52:55,580 --> 00:52:58,850 Will I see you at Mallards for the party, Miss? 865 00:52:58,900 --> 00:53:02,370 No, Withers, never. 866 00:53:02,420 --> 00:53:06,690 Never, never, never, never. 867 00:53:06,740 --> 00:53:11,410 Here we are, Grosvenor. Half... half a crown, is it? 868 00:53:11,460 --> 00:53:13,180 That's right, Miss. 869 00:53:16,380 --> 00:53:18,090 SHE LAUGHS 870 00:53:18,140 --> 00:53:20,850 It's quite discombobulating to have to 871 00:53:20,900 --> 00:53:23,210 pay for admittance to one's own home. 872 00:53:23,260 --> 00:53:26,410 ~ It's all for a good cause, Miss. ~ Yes... 873 00:53:26,460 --> 00:53:28,060 Hello. Thank you. 874 00:54:00,900 --> 00:54:02,730 Diva, dear! 875 00:54:02,780 --> 00:54:04,410 A few gooseberries for you... 876 00:54:04,460 --> 00:54:06,210 from your garden, 877 00:54:06,260 --> 00:54:07,890 with my compliments. 878 00:54:07,940 --> 00:54:10,460 Thank you, Elizabeth. Most generous. 879 00:54:20,980 --> 00:54:23,330 Susan, dear! 880 00:54:23,380 --> 00:54:25,170 Admiring my delphiniums? 881 00:54:25,220 --> 00:54:27,130 I must give you some seed. 882 00:54:27,180 --> 00:54:28,770 Thank you, dear. 883 00:54:28,820 --> 00:54:32,530 I was just telling Algernon that that corner there was made, 884 00:54:32,580 --> 00:54:35,170 may I say, for fuchsias. 885 00:54:35,220 --> 00:54:40,130 Ah, dear, you will have to forgive me, I can not bear fuchsias. 886 00:54:40,180 --> 00:54:43,540 They always remind me of over-dressed women. 887 00:54:45,020 --> 00:54:47,210 Such a lovely day for it. 888 00:54:47,260 --> 00:54:50,820 ~ How those half crowns must be rolling in. ~ Indeed. 889 00:54:53,820 --> 00:54:55,380 Just mind the lawn. 890 00:54:57,260 --> 00:55:02,930 So pleased to see you all sitting on my lawn and enjoying your tea. 891 00:55:02,980 --> 00:55:04,820 Excuse me, Miss, could you...? 892 00:55:13,700 --> 00:55:15,530 Ta. And you are? 893 00:55:15,580 --> 00:55:18,220 Elizabeth Mapp, Miss... 894 00:55:20,260 --> 00:55:22,410 .. and this is my humble abode. 895 00:55:22,460 --> 00:55:24,300 GENTLE APPLAUSE 896 00:55:27,820 --> 00:55:30,010 Look at her... 897 00:55:30,060 --> 00:55:33,730 swanning round like she owns the place. 898 00:55:33,780 --> 00:55:35,420 She does own the place. 899 00:55:36,540 --> 00:55:38,130 You know what I mean. 900 00:55:38,180 --> 00:55:41,930 She wants everyone to think the fete is her idea. 901 00:55:41,980 --> 00:55:43,130 Not fair. 902 00:55:43,180 --> 00:55:45,250 (Where's Lucia? 903 00:55:45,300 --> 00:55:48,220 (She should be here to put Elizabeth in her place.) 904 00:55:49,740 --> 00:55:52,180 HE LAUGHS 905 00:55:54,060 --> 00:55:55,490 Jolly good turnout, what? 906 00:55:55,540 --> 00:55:57,220 Very pleased. 907 00:55:58,780 --> 00:56:01,530 Ought I to say a few words, do you think? 908 00:56:01,580 --> 00:56:06,210 I feel Tilling would think it very remiss of me if I didn't. 909 00:56:06,260 --> 00:56:07,490 Well, I, um... 910 00:56:07,540 --> 00:56:11,650 BELL RINGS Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye! 911 00:56:11,700 --> 00:56:19,410 Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding for our gracious Queen... 912 00:56:19,460 --> 00:56:21,570 Elizabeth! 913 00:56:21,620 --> 00:56:24,290 LOUD GASPS 914 00:56:24,340 --> 00:56:26,570 Excuse me. 915 00:56:26,620 --> 00:56:28,900 LAUGHTER 916 00:56:31,020 --> 00:56:34,620 FANFARE AND GASPS 917 00:56:36,260 --> 00:56:38,330 My loving people, 918 00:56:38,380 --> 00:56:42,530 we have been persuaded by some who are careful of our safety 919 00:56:42,580 --> 00:56:46,050 to take heed how we commit our selves to armed multitudes 920 00:56:46,100 --> 00:56:48,410 for fear of treachery... 921 00:56:48,460 --> 00:56:50,210 ~ GASPS ~ But I assure you 922 00:56:50,260 --> 00:56:55,410 I do not desire to live to distrust my faithful and loving people. 923 00:56:55,460 --> 00:56:57,370 Let tyrants fear... 924 00:56:57,420 --> 00:56:58,690 GASPS 925 00:56:58,740 --> 00:57:01,570 .. for I have come here at this time, 926 00:57:01,620 --> 00:57:05,850 not for my recreation or disport, but for my resolve, 927 00:57:05,900 --> 00:57:07,730 in the midst and heat of battle, 928 00:57:07,780 --> 00:57:10,410 to live and die amongst you all... 929 00:57:10,460 --> 00:57:12,130 LOUD SIGHS 930 00:57:12,180 --> 00:57:17,130 I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, 931 00:57:17,180 --> 00:57:19,610 but I have the heart and stomach of a king! 932 00:57:19,660 --> 00:57:21,650 LOUD CHEERS 933 00:57:21,700 --> 00:57:23,210 Spectacular! 934 00:57:23,260 --> 00:57:27,450 And we shall have a famous victory over those enemies of my God, 935 00:57:27,500 --> 00:57:30,930 of my kingdom and of my people. 936 00:57:30,980 --> 00:57:35,250 The queen is dead - long live the queen! 937 00:57:35,300 --> 00:57:38,570 MUSIC: Zadoc The Priest by Handel 938 00:57:38,620 --> 00:57:42,970 CROWD CHANTS: Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! 939 00:57:43,020 --> 00:57:46,260 CHANTING CONTINUES 940 00:57:58,220 --> 00:58:00,820 ~ I used to play with my sisters. ~ Eh? ~ Golf. 941 00:58:02,060 --> 00:58:05,850 ~ Wah! ~ Oh! ~ There has been some hanky-panky. 942 00:58:05,900 --> 00:58:09,370 ~ Do you wish to have the body of a younger man? ~ Yes, please. 943 00:58:09,420 --> 00:58:10,690 Ah... 944 00:58:10,740 --> 00:58:11,890 Tiptree, you naughty dog! 945 00:58:11,940 --> 00:58:13,290 LOUD SHRIEKS 946 00:58:13,340 --> 00:58:16,420 ~ You... ~ Shall we call it a score draw, dear? 947 00:58:16,470 --> 00:58:21,020 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0